9 Days
by MathematicSunset
Summary: A day-by-day story. Lindsay/Cindy. COMPLETE
1. Intro

The premise behind the following story is a simple one. What happened in the nine days between the end of To Drag And To Hold and the beginning of FBI Guy? Once a day, for nine days, I will add a chapter to this. Reviews are welcomed and appreciated.


	2. Day One

Cindy rolled over in the bed, reaching blindly for her phone that was so loudly ringing on the nightstand. The alcohol from earlier in the night was still making her mind slightly foggy. She finally found the accept button on the phone and pressed it to her ear. "Hello?"

"Did I wake you?" Lindsay's voice was different, strangled with emotion.

"Yes, but that's okay. What's wrong?" She sat up in the bed, holding the sheet around her tightly. Her head began pounding, and she closed her eyes, ignoring that the other side of the bed was now empty. Lindsay still hadn't answered, but Cindy swore she heard the woman crying. "Linz?"

"Can you come over?"

"I'll be there as soon as I can," she replied, taking a deep breath.

"I'll be on the front porch waiting. I think I am in the mood for a walk," she said, hanging up a moment later. Cindy pulled herself off of the bed and fumbling around in the dark for something to wear. Once she was dressed, she opted to jog the two miles to Lindsay's instead of getting behind the wheel. As she ran, she couldn't get the sound of Lindsay's voice out of her head. Something had happened, but she had no idea what it could have been.

She stopped at the end of the sidewalk and looked up, where Lindsay was sitting on the bottom step, a beer in her hand, and an unopened one sitting next to her. As she sat down next to the woman, Lindsay opened the other beer and handed it to the redhead, not saying a word. For once in her life, Cindy didn't feel like talking. She sat there, drinking her beer, her leg barely touching Lindsay's. Cindy almost flinched when Lindsay took a deep breath. "So, who were you sleeping with?"

Cindy almost choked. "What?!"

"You cannot deny that you have sex hair," Lindsay said, smiling slightly. "I didn't ruin anything for you, did I?" She glanced at the woman, and Cindy could tell she was still crying, just silently.

"You didn't ruin anything. He, uh, was already gone," she stammered, quickly finishing the beer. "Got anymore of these? I think it might be a long night."

"How about we got for a walk first, unless you don't want to, since you obviously walked here."

"Well, technically, I jogged, but a little more walking wouldn't kill me," she responded, standing up and offering a hand to Lindsay, who took it with a shy smile. It wasn't until they were almost four blocks from Lindsay's that the taller woman let go of Cindy's hand. "Are you going to talk about why you were crying? Honestly, I didn't think you cried."

"I'm human," she said. "So, do I know this mystery man you had in your bed? Because, honestly, besides the whole Jamie Galvin thing, I was starting to have my suspicions about your sexuality."

Cindy stopped walking and looked at her. "You've wondered about whether I am a lesbian or not? Not to sound mean, but that is really…not what I expected you to say." They resumed their walk, and Cindy could feel Lindsay's eyes on her. "Okay, since I see I am not going to get out of that question because you are too stubborn to talk about what is wrong with you, I guess I have no choice but to answer," she said, laughing. "Thaddeus."

"Wait, Prescott? As in…"

"Dead drag queens son, yes. Now that you have your answer, what's up?"

Lindsay bit down on her lip, trying to calm the sudden urge of jealousy deep in her gut. "Fine, here's the deal. I just got some news that I don't like, but I don't know how to process it. I didn't want to be completely alone, and you were the first person I thought to call because Jill is…well…that's obvious, and Claire has a family, not to mention Jill. I know you like to talk and I know you want to be inquisitive, but right now I like this whole just walking with you thing. Getting to see your quiet side."

Cindy nodded as they rounded a corner. After three blocks of silence, Cindy cleared her throat. "I'm bisexual, by the way. I mean, I prefer women, but I like men too. I don't exactly go around broadcasting that point though. I figure the people who need to know, know."

Lindsay felt her mouth go dry as Cindy slid her hand into Lindsay's, watching the ground in front of them intently. "Well, that makes me feel pretty damn special."

"Want to know my other secret?" Lindsay nodded, trying to smile as they stopped walking, finding themselves back in front of Lindsay's apartment. Cindy stepped closer to Lindsay and stood on her toes, putting her free hand on Lindsay's shoulder for balance. She let her lips rest on the woman's ear for a moment, before whispering, "I really like you." As she lowered herself back down, she placed a soft kiss on Lindsay's cheek. "Now you get to go to bed, because you got your walk, and I had the pleasure of your company."

Cindy was almost around the corner when Lindsay found her voice. "Are you going to see him again?"

"What?" She had turned around and was watching the Inspector carefully.

"Thaddeus. Are you going to see him again?"

"I think he was more of a one-time thing. The ones who don't last…well…they never stay the whole night." She looked at her feet for a moment before walking back to Lindsay. "Why?"

"Well, I figured if you were seeing him again, it would mean there was something. But since there isn't, do you think I could see you sometime? You know, without having to climb in bed with you or offer you alcohol. Just me and you, say, dinner…Friday night?"

Cindy smiled at her, reaching up to cradle her face in her hand. "I'll call you," she whispered, before she turned and jogged off, quickly disappearing from Lindsay's sight.


	3. Day Two

"She said she would call, but she still hasn't called," Lindsay said, looking at Martha. "Look at this! She has inspired me to talk to a dog! Why hasn't she called?" She sat down on the couch and laughed at herself. Cindy was the only person in the world who could reduce her to this. She flipped her cell phone open and closed it just as quick when she realized how pathetic she was being. She had asked to see Cindy on Friday, so Cindy would most likely call her on Friday. "I can wait another 24 hours, right?" Martha gave her owner a sad look before leaving the room.

She decided pacing would be somewhat more productive than actually sitting on the couch doing nothing, but after ten minutes thought better of it. She felt like a teenager again, but this was different. She knew there was the potential for something deeper to develop between her and Cindy. As she began pacing again, she grabbed Martha's leash and the dog happily led her outside and towards the park. Her phone buzzed in her pocket and she pulled herself out of her daze to flip it open.

"Boxer."

"Hey, it's Cindy." Lindsay had to stop jogging for fear of falling over with joy. "So, I was thinking about when you asked me if I wanted to have dinner with you. And I decided that would be pretty cool. So, eight on Friday?"

"Yeah. Eight is good. Great, actually," she said, trying to hide the smile in her voice.

"Cool."

"I'll pick you up at your place. Okay?"

"Yeah. Looking forward to it," she said. "I have to go. See you on Friday, unless someone is killed before then, in which case, see you whenever." She disconnected and Lindsay put her phone back in her pocket, standing still until she felt the pull of her dogs leash on her arm. She rolled her eyes and took off again, finally deciding to head home after almost an hour. As she approached her apartment, she noticed the car that contained the creepy as hell FBI agent and she felt like she was going to scream.

After she had Martha back inside, she walked across the street and leaned against the car. "Are you seriously going to stake out my house?"

"Did you have a nice chat with your little friend last night?" He responded, looking at her.

"Don't even go there. And don't follow me everywhere," she said, turning around and running back into her apartment. After a quick shower and a change of clothes, she climbed into her jeep, heading to The Hall.

"What are you doing here? I thought this was your day off." Jacobi leaned against her desk as she sat down. "You do know that day off means you don't show up, right?"

"Drop it, okay? I didn't feel like sitting around my place all day, and I took Martha for a run, but I was bored. Anything I can help with?"

"No. Because it is your day off," he said, moving back to sit behind is own desk. "Besides, it's an unusually slow day." He watched her for a moment. "Why do you have that stupid grin on your face?"

"What stupid grin?" She asked, smiling.

"That one. The one that looks like you got your way on something."

"Well, Jacobi, if you must know, I happen to have a date on Friday night," she responded, trying to get the smile to leave her face. "No. Before you even think of asking, I am not going to tell you with whom. Not until I figure out if it goes well or not. Or before I figure out if there will be a second date. I don't want to take any chance that might completely screw this up for me, because it is something I have wanted for a long time now." She leaned back in her chair, still looking at him. "Actually, not that long of a time, but long enough."

"Well, I am happy for you. Now why don't you go home before you…" He was cut off by Tom dropping a file on his desk and looking and Lindsay.

"I thought it was her day off," he said, turning to face Jacobi.

"It is. What's in the file?" She asked, standing up.

"No, you don't get to see this. You have ended up in here on every single day you have had off in the past four months. Go home Lindsay. Don't let it come to me having to order you to do so," Tom said, looking at her.

"Tom, give me the file."

"No."

"Now."

"No."

"Dammit!" She turned on her heel and stalked off, heading mutely through the hallways until she reached Jill's office. After one brisk knock, she received the word to enter.

"Isn't this supposed to be your day off?" Jill looked up from the paper she was writing on and leaned back in the chair as Lindsay sat down on the edge of the desk.

"I wish people would stop pointing that out to me. I really do. The only reason I actually came in today was that I was going to go insane if I spent any more time alone with my thoughts."

"You were thinking. That is a dangerous thing," Jill replied, smiling. "What's on your mind?"

Lindsay looked around the office for a moment before looking at Jill again. "I have a date tomorrow night."

Jill sat up, a weird look on her face. "With who?"

"Someone. I don't want to say for the same reason I told Jacobi. I want to see how it goes and if anything actually comes of it. Which is understandable, right?"

"Totally," she nodded. "So, who with?"

"I'm not telling. So don't even bother asking again."

"Well, I just think I should give this person a nice talking to about how if they break your heart, I might just have to hurt them."

"I love how you feel so overprotective of me, but I am a big girl now. I can take care of myself. Besides, there isn't really anything in my heart to break yet," she said, moving backwards towards the door, wanting nothing more at that moment than to distance herself from the blonde woman. "I think I am going to go see if I can get Tom to let me in on something," she said, "despite the fact that it is my day off." She quickly put distance between the office and herself, letting her mind go full force. Because there wasn't anything in her heart to break yet, right?


	4. Day Three

Lindsay smoothed her shirt out as she walked down the hallway, stopping at Cindy's door. She tapped on the door three times then let her arms rest at her sides. The door opened to reveal the redhead, a smile on her face. "Sorry I'm late. A lead on the case came in late and I…"

"It's fine. At least you showed up."

"Wouldn't miss it," she said, smiling as she stepped into the apartment. Her eyes scanned the small living room and as she inhaled she could tell the whole apartment had that scent that was Cindy. "So, where do you want to go for dinner?"

Cindy looked up at her, opened her mouth but then snapped it shut. They were both quiet for a moment.

"Anywhere but the diner," they said, smiling when they realized how quickly they had both thought about that.

"Nope. Not the diner," Lindsay said.

"Definitely not," Cindy agreed. She looked at the floor for a moment. "I know it isn't really classy or anything, but there is this sports bar my dad used to go to all the time down on Market. I never actually got to go with him, but when I was younger he would always bring me home a burger and fries. It was pretty good food, even being as greasy as it was."

"Sounds like a great place," she said, looking at the redhead. Cindy nodded and led the way out of the apartment, making sure the door was locked behind them. They were silent as Cindy drove towards the bar, finally looking at Lindsay as she grabbed her hand before they stepped over the threshold into the smoky building.

Over greasy burgers and even greasier fries, they shared laughs and Lindsay listened as Cindy told stories about her father. Once the food was gone, Cindy looked at the table for a moment before turning her eyes on the raven haired woman sitting across from her. "So, if something does come of this date, when do we tell Jill and Claire?"

"Do we have to tell them?"

"It would get Jill off your back about dating."

Lindsay chuckled as she reached for Cindy's hands. "Jill will give you the break her heart speech the second she finds out," she smiled.

"You two have a history, don't you?"

"Sort of. Nothing major romantically wise, but she has been my best friend for the past seven years. We've had our moments, but all she really does is look out for me. Just in a different way than Claire does."

Cindy nodded, sliding her empty beer bottle back and forth on the table. "I know this seems really awkward, since, you know, like, six months ago you didn't even know me but…"

"It's easier to date you now, than if I had known you for a couple years, which makes me really glad we are doing this now," she looked around the room at the slowly growing crowd. "It's getting a bit crowded in here. How about we go somewhere else?"

Cindy nodded again, following the woman out of the bar. "Where did you have in mind?"

"Well, I was thinking maybe a nice stroll through the city since it is a lovely night outside," she replied. The redhead grabbed her hand and held tightly to it.

"This feels really right, you know? Like, I have had many first dates, but none have ever felt like this. As silly as it sounds, it's almost like I had to wait to find you. Tortured soul and all," she said, leaning her head on the taller woman's arm.

"It does sound silly, but I get where you are coming from." As they made their way around the streets of the city, Lindsay felt like something in her life was finally going right. That is, until Cindy bumped into none other than Thaddeus Prescott. Her phone chose that moment to ring, and she wanted so badly to ignore it, but found she couldn't. "I'll be right back." She kissed Cindy on top of her head as she pulled her phone out. "Boxer."

"Linz, I know you have something more important going on right now, but…"

"No." She cut Jacobi off mid-sentence. "I made sure I was completely off duty tonight because I do not want this night to be fucked up," she said, carefully watching the interaction between Thaddeus and Cindy. She didn't like the way he gently put his hand on her shoulder. "Is it something that you can handle on your own? I know it isn't like me to blow off my job, but this is slightly more important."

"Linz, how about this? You don't have to deal with this until tomorrow morning. I will see what I can do about it tonight, and if I don't get it sorted away, you can see what the morning will bring, okay?"

She hated how defeated the man sounded, but she found herself more concerned with the fact that Thaddeus was still getting chummy with Cindy. "Okay. I owe you. Big time," she said, seconds before closing her phone and walking back over to her date. "Ready to continue on?"

Cindy tore her eyes away from the young man in front of them and looked at Lindsay. "Always," she whispered, taking Lindsay's hand again and giving a small wave to Thaddeus as they walked away.

"I thought there wasn't anything there."

"Don't tell me you are going to get jealous. Okay, listen; even if there was something there, he was a bad idea. I don't really go for the younger set of males. Besides, I have you, so I totally don't need anything else."

"You just used the word totally while staying completely serious."

"Lindsay," she stopped walking and grabbed both of the taller woman's shoulder. "I am here with you tonight. I will be with you every night that you want me to be. I will not leave you."

Lindsay smiled, trying to squelch the feeling in her gut telling her that since her confrontation with the creepy FBI agent she shouldn't bring Cindy further into her life. Not when there was so much at stake.

"Do you understand that? I am not going to leave you unless you truly want me to."

"I understand," she said, and for once in her life, she actually did.


	5. Day Four

Cindy rolled over and opened her eyes, a brief moment of shock hitting her as she glanced at the dark, unknown room. She let out a breath as she saw Lindsay's form on the bed next to her, still sound asleep. She glanced at the clock as she sat up; almost groaning when she noticed it was six in the morning. They had only decided she was going to stay the night once they had made their way to another bar and Cindy had knocked back at least four shots of vodka. She was regretting that drinking choice now, as her tongue had decided to become close friends with the roof of her mouth. Slowly, doing her best to not disturb Lindsay or Martha, she slid out of the bed and stumbled towards the kitchen, quietly getting a glass of water.

After gulping down the water, she quietly made her way back to the bedroom and stood in the doorway, watching the sight before her. Lindsay's phone had started to ring and Cindy smiled as the woman blindly groped the nightstand for the object, finally settling on it. "Boxer. Yeah. I'll be there in twenty." She sat up and looked at the redhead. "I, uh, have to go."

"I figured," she replied, still smiling.

"I feel like a jerk, you know, cause it's so early." She stood up and began digging in the dresser for a different shirt to wear. She stood up straight as Cindy placed a hand on her back. The redhead leaned forward and captured the taller woman's mouth with her own, pulling back a moment later, the smile still on her face. "Now I don't feel like that much of a jerk." She watched as the redhead gathered her things. "Are you sure you wanna walk home? I can drive you."

"I'm fine. I have a couple hours of sleep in me. Now I can go home and sleep some more," she said, kissing Lindsay again. "So, let me know if I can see you again."

"Anytime you want to. Just, not so obnoxiously in public. You cramp my style."

Cindy gently gave Lindsay's shoulder a shove. "Nice. I don't think that is a nice way to talk to your…" She looked at the woman with a serious look on her face.

"Girlfriend?"

She smiled. "Yeah. Girlfriend. I like that. Does that mean if I am ever in the station and I see Fong staring at your ass I can punch him?"

Lindsay bit her lip. "Can we keep us quiet for a while? I just, I don't want it out there just yet. Not when it's this new," she whispered, pulling the redhead to her. "Okay?"

After a moment, Cindy nodded, leaning into the embrace. "Stay safe at whatever you have to go do. Don't go getting yourself killed." She kissed Lindsay's cheek and let herself out of the apartment, leaving the woman staring after her.

"Don't go getting myself killed," she whispered, making sure she had her badge, gun and phone before pulling on her jacket and heading out into the early morning world.

Cindy let herself into her apartment and thought about going back to bed, but her head was swimming. She had not only shared an evening with Lindsay Boxer, and even a bed for a brief few hours, but she was now officially dating her. As hard as she tried to not get overexcited about it, she did a little dance in the entryway of the apartment, laughing as she noticed her cat sitting on the couch watching her like she was made of fish heads.

She sat down on the couch and scratched the feline's ears, making the animal purr loudly. Her phone buzzed in her pocket, signaling a new text message. After reading it, she kissed the top of her cat's head. "I guess I don't get to sleep more." She made sure her notebook was in her bag before she refilled the food and water dish for the cat and then let herself out of the apartment, locking it behind her.

She chuckled to herself as she got out of her car at the crime scene and moved to join the throng of reporters. After several failed attempts at getting a comment from one of the uniformed officers, she smiled as she heard Lindsay and Jacobi fighting their way to the tape. As Lindsay gently moved her aside, she caught her arm. "Miss Thomas…" She stopped when she saw the smirk on the redhead's face. She brought their faces close together for a moment. "I will advise that you don't try to smooth talk an officer into letting you past the tape."

"Wouldn't dream of it Inspector. Can I get a quote on anything going on here?"

"You'll get something when everyone else does Miss Thomas," Lindsay said, ducking under the tape. Cindy smiled to herself as she saw Lindsay conversing with Claire where the body should be. She wasn't used to this much press at a crime scene, but being that the victim was at one point in the limelight for a scandal involving someone high up in City Hall, it was a dog-eat-dog scene. After what seemed like hours, Cindy noticed Tom heading towards the group of reporters and she almost rolled her eyes. Once he had made a statement, she slipped off to the side, spotting Jill, Claire and Lindsay out of earshot and sight of everyone else.

"This place is a madhouse," she said, joining them. "So, I have the cliff notes from big shot over there. What's the real story?" She put her notebook back into her bag and looked at the women.

"Looks like a started slash and dash," Claire said, making Cindy smile. "I know I can word that a little less amusing, but it's what it was. Whoever did this slashed her up and dropped her, then dashed."

"Hence the term slash and dash," Jill said, grimacing.

"Don't really have anything useful here. I can tell more once I do the autopsy though." She turned to Lindsay. "How was your date last night?"

Lindsay caught Cindy's eye and smiled. "It was good. It went well, but no, I will not tell you who it was with. It's too new." For once, Jill and Claire kept their mouths shut, although Cindy could swear as Lindsay walked off, Claire gave the redhead a small smile, almost like she could tell.


	6. Day Five

It took everything Lindsay had in her to not run away from everything. She let the sound of her feet hitting the pavement at regular intervals take her away from everything that was wrong. She could run forever if it would get her away from Kiss-Me-Not and from every danger in her life. Every danger that had the ability to take Cindy from her. She didn't want to get this close to the woman, not when there was a psychopath out there who wanted to hurt her. As she neared her apartment again, she stopped to lean against a light post and for the first time, she felt the tears running down her face.

She wiped her eyes after a moment, slowly walking back into her apartment. She flopped down on her bed and let herself cry more. It was something she didn't let herself do often enough, and she knew her life was getting far more stressful now with the addition of her feelings for Cindy. Martha hopped onto the bed and nuzzled her nose underneath Lindsay's hand, causing the woman to smile. The dog jumped as the phone started ringing from Lindsay's pocket. "Boxer."

"You sound more awake than someone should at three in the morning," Cindy said, clearly yawning halfway through her sentence.

"Why are you awake?"

"Honestly, I couldn't sleep. I just felt that maybe you could use some cheering up. You looked a bit down at dinner last night."

"As great as the cheering up offer sounds, I don't really feel like it right now." Before the redhead could say another word, she flipped her phone shut, ignoring it as it began ringing again. She looked at Martha, who seemed to be criticizing her. "What? Don't look at me like that." The staring continued between the woman and the dog. "Look, you know I don't need to be getting involved with anyone right now. So stop staring at me."

At some point after the tears had ceased and her phone stopped ringing, Lindsay had drifted off into a fitful sleep, finally jolting awake as sunlight peeked its way into the bedroom. She pulled herself off of the bed and grabbed a change of clothes, quickly jumping in the shower before heading into the kitchen and refilling Martha's food and water dish. Before she even had a sip of coffee in her, there was a knock on the door. Slowly, she opened it, revealing one tired looking redhead. "Good, you answered on the first knock. I was tempted to just continue banging away."

"What are you doing here?" Lindsay asked, finally getting coffee into her system.

"Look, I have been in enough relationships to pick up on when someone is going to start pulling away. And I am not going to let that happen. I get that you are stressed about having the Kiss-Me-Not case ripped out from under you, but that is no excuse to go hiding inside your own mind. Not when you have someone so willing to be there for you," she said, pushing her way into the apartment, not taking her eyes off of Lindsay. "So, you can tell me what the hell is wrong with you now."

Lindsay looked soundlessly at the woman for a moment. "You don't get to barge into my apartment and tell me what I should and shouldn't do!"

"I don't care if I get to or I don't! I will anyways because not only are you my friend but you are my girlfriend and that gives me every single fucking right to care about you."

"Cindy…"

"I am not going to listen to it, so don't even try. I've heard the stories from Jill and Claire. How you let Kiss-me-Not devour your life, ruin your marriage, ruin your life. I am not going to let it ruin you anymore, don't you get that? I care, and I always will."

"You can't! Okay? You can't care because all that will happen is you will end up hurt in the end!" Lindsay snapped, bringing her face inches from Cindy's. "So give it up!"

The redhead backed up and as Lindsay saw the tears in her eyes, she regretted everything that had just left her mouth. For a brief moment she felt compelled to tell Cindy about the threat on the Inspectors life, but her chance was gone in a heartbeat. "Fine. Have it that way. I guess this was all just a fluke," she whispered, her voice so full with hurt that it felt like each letter drove a stake into Lindsay's heart. The younger woman moved around Lindsay and left the apartment without a second glance.

All it took was another second before Lindsay was running after her. She caught the redhead on the porch and quickly grabbed her arm, spinning her around and pulling her to close, holding her tightly. "I'm sorry," she whispered, kissing the top of her head. "I'm sorry." Cindy didn't reply, instead choosing to wrap her arms around the woman's waist and bury her face in her shoulder, letting herself break down. She let the reporter back to the apartment, sitting down on the couch with her, still holding tightly to her.

"You're an idiot, you know that?" Cindy whispered, the tears finally subsiding. "I mean, you really need to work on thinking before you go and say shit like that." She leaned back slightly and Lindsay took note that even after a crying fit, the redhead still looked beautiful.

"Hopefully I won't have to worry about it anymore," she said, reaching onto the table and grabbing a tissue. She gently wiped the tears from the younger woman's eyes, trying to smile.

"How do you know I will end up hurt in the end? Unless you have the intention of it happening, you can't know that."

Once again, Lindsay wanted to tell Cindy everything, but after five days of knowledge of it, the fact that she had hid it that long, would just cause another blow up. She wouldn't get Cindy back if there was another one. "Because it's how everything goes in my life. I get something I like, possibly can love, and then it gets taken from me."

"Well, I'm not going anywhere, and you should know that," she whispered, leaning back into Lindsay, a smile on her face. "Because I will never give up feeling this happy."


	7. Day Six

"Jill? Can I talk to you?" Cindy asked, sticking her head in the doorway of the woman's office. Jill motioned her forward and she sat down, fidgeting slightly before actually saying anything. "Okay, I know you are not the best person to ask about relationship advice, but I don't know who else to ask. If you were with someone, but they were trying to distance themselves from you, despite telling you they weren't going to, what would you do?"

Jill looked at Cindy silently for a moment. "I honestly have no idea how to answer that, and I am quite shocked that you actually chose to come to me. Why not Claire? She talks better."

"Well, Claire would see right through me. Granted, you could possibly do that as well…" She looked at her hands. "I mean, Lindsay is just being such a brat about things and…" She looked up at Jill, a shocked look on both women's faces. "I wasn't supposed to say that."

"You…You're seeing Linz?"

"Shit. I really was not supposed to let that known."

"You're the one she went out with the other night? The one that caused her to pace my office for a brief moment in time and freak out?"

"Don't tell her you know! We decided, well, Lindsay decided, to keep it quiet since it was really new. I wasn't supposed to tell anyone."

"You let her decide for you?"

Cindy opened her mouth and then shut it again.

"That's what I thought," she replied, standing up from behind her desk. Jill leaned down and looked in the flustered redhead's eyes. "Don't let her jerk you around like that. It may seem small to just say keep the relationship quiet, but it will escalate. Don't let her control you. Think for yourself, and let her know you think for yourself. Prove to her you aren't a child." She left the office, and Cindy knew she was going to talk to Lindsay. Gathering all of her courage, she headed to the elevators, and when she reached the door to the bullpen, Jacobi stopped her.

"Jill dragged Lindsay off. You might want to go check with Claire," he said, looking at her. "What did you do to Lindsay? She's been…different the past couple days."

"Distant?" Cindy offered. Jacobi nodded. "Wasn't me. I had nothing to do with that. Maybe it's because her ex husband is finally remarried?" Before he could respond, she quickly made her way to the morgue. She stopped outside of Claire's office, positive she hadn't been noticed as she saw the two women doing a loose interrogation on Lindsay.

"You told her that she can't tell anyone about you two?" Claire looked at Lindsay with a dumbfounded look on her face.

"She told me that you told her you were going to stop pulling away, but you are still managing to do that. Come to think of it," Jill said, looking at Claire. "You have been pulling away from us too. What gives?"

"Look…"

"No, you look. Cindy loves you. She has ever since she first met you, it's painfully obvious. Telling her that she can't share her news that she found someone who cares about is not only selfish but completely childish!" Claire said, gazing towards the door. Cindy had been spotted, and she knew it. "That is, unless you don't really care about her."

Cindy looked shocked at the fact that Claire had seen her, but wasn't letting Lindsay or Jill know that.

"How can you suggest that I don't care about her?" Lindsay snapped. "I don't need this third degree from you two." She turned to leave and stopped dead in her tracks when she saw Cindy. "You see why I didn't want you to tell them?" She pushed past the woman and the redhead moved into the office.

"She didn't confirm that she actually cares," she whispered, sitting on one of the chairs. "Why didn't she confirm that?" Claire sat down on the arm of the chair and placed a hand on Cindy's shoulder.

"Because like she said, it's new. And she will never admit this, but new things scare her. Especially you," Jill said, smiling.

"I scare her? Great."

"What miss not so sensitive over there means, Cindy, is that it's a new chapter in her life. She lets go of Tom, and you enter in. She starts thinking ahead to be how you could be the one for her and that Tom never was. Then she scares herself into pushing you away because the prospect of being happy is completely lost on her."

Cindy looked at Claire for a moment before she stood up. "I have to go." She rushed out of the office and as she neared the elevator she slammed into Lindsay. "I think we need to have a talk," she whispered. Lindsay obediently followed the redhead out of the Hall and down the street to the diner. As they settled in at the end of the counter, Cindy cast a small smile to Lindsay. "So, from what I hear from Claire, you get scared of new things."

"Do we have to talk about this now?"

"Yes," she said. "Please tell me the complete truth on why you think it is necessary to continuously try and push me away."

"Cindy, there are some things that I do that you just wouldn't understand."

"Because I'm young?"

"Because you don't know me. Some things I do Claire doesn't even get. It's how I work and it's how I process things."

"Are you ever going to give me a chance to get to know you? Lindsay, I am sitting here willing to learn every single detail about you and all you want to do is get rid of me. Why is that?"

Lindsay decided to look at the counter instead of at Cindy. After a few minutes of silence, Cindy placed a kiss on Lindsay's cheek.

"Well, when you think of your answer, let me know. You have my number," she said, standing up and leaving the diner.


	8. Day Seven

"Did you call Cindy yet?" Jill asked, sliding into the booth beside Claire. She shrunk back as Lindsay threw her a hard stare. The blonde looked at Claire. "I take it she called her?"

"The idiot across the table from us broke up with her," Claire replied, not taking her eyes off of Lindsay. The three women looked up as Cindy walked into the diner, her arm wrapped around the waist of Thaddeus Prescott. The redhead gave a small wave to Claire and Jill, ignoring Lindsay altogether. As she passed them and remained out of earshot, Lindsay looked at Claire.

"See, now she is just intentionally trying to piss me off! He's like, six years younger than her!"

"And she's eleven younger than you," Jill pointed out. "I think they make a cute couple."

Lindsay held back the urge to spit an unkind word at Jill. "She barely even knows him!"

"She barely knows you. He, on the other hand, is giving her a chance to get to know him. Not dumping her and becoming a turtle," Claire said, returning her glare to Lindsay.

"She had only known him for, like, eight hours when she jumped into bed with him!"

Jill joined Claire in staring at Lindsay now. "What?"

"The night of Tom's wedding, at like, really early in the morning, I called her because I needed some company. She had, as pathetic as the term sounds, sex hair. I asked, she said she had slept with him. But she said there was nothing there, because the ones that last never stay the night. Makes me wonder just how many didn't last," she mumbled, opting instead to knock back the shot of bourbon instead of mixing it into her milkshake like she normally did.

"If you are feeling like that, why don't you go over there and ask her?"

"Don't give her any ideas," Claire said, slapping Jill's arm. "Do you want to leave?"

"Yes." She looked up as Cindy walked over to the table. "Well, having fun with your little boy toy?"

"You are not allowed to get jealous," she said, leaning on the table. "You are the one who broke up with me, after, what? Two? Three days? I am trying to enjoy a date with him. I am trying to enjoy myself. I am enjoying learning more about him. Something you never let me do because you were just so absorbed in locking everyone out of your life. I don't know what is bugging you and honestly, I don't care anymore!" She quickly moved back over to the counter where Claire noted that she was wiping her eyes as the young man wrapped an arm around her and glanced quizzically at their table.

Lindsay slid out of her seat and quietly left the diner, leaving Jill and Claire silently arguing over who was going to go after her. After a moment, Jill headed out the door while Claire moved over to Cindy. "I hate to interrupt you two, but Cindy, that was rather harsh." She headed out of the diner and Cindy looked at Thaddeus.

"This wasn't supposed to be such a drama filled night. I'm sorry," she whispered, smiling at him. He placed a kiss on her cheek and smiled back at her for a moment. "What?"

"Look, I know you really like Lindsay. And I have realized that if you can be shallow enough to take me on a date here to make her jealous, I am totally cool with that. I can be shallow to by saying that I only agreed because your hot," he said, smiling again. "Plus, you're really good in bed."

"Good to know," she replied, laughing. "I didn't bring you here to intentionally make her jealous. I completely forgot that they were getting dinner here tonight. I wouldn't be that shallow. At least, I don't think I would be." She looked at the food as the plates were set in front of them. They silently picked at their food, making small talk, and once they were done eating and the check was paid, they left the diner, Cindy slipping her hand into Thaddeus'. "You were right about me really liking her. And I think she likes me too, but I really am not sure on that anymore. I'm not really sure on anything anymore."

"Did you not see the way she was watching you? She was probably thinking of nineteen different ways to kill me for being with you," he said. "You are very likeable, and I think if Lindsay can't see what she has when she has you, then she is just stupid."

"I think she might be more confused than anything. I mean, she told me the other night that she got some news that she didn't quite know how to process. I just couldn't get her to actually tell me what it was. I couldn't get her to open up to me and to trust me," she said, looking at the ground. "I really do like you, you know that, right?"

"I hoped you would. I mean, I know I am not a sexy police Inspector, but I try. Just me and my guitar," he laughed, stopping as they neared Cindy's car. "Am I allowed to give you a goodnight kiss?"

"I think that would be allowed," she said, smiling as he leaned down to kiss her.

"Go get Lindsay back," he whispered in her ear before walking away. She watched him until he was out of sight and she almost screamed when she felt a hand on her shoulder. She let out a breath when she turned to see Lindsay standing there.

"Have a good night?"

"Claire told me I was pretty harsh to talk to you the way I did, but I had every single right to do so. All I wanted to do was care about you and be the one person you could talk to about anything. But you just won't get that happen, will you?"

"You wouldn't get it."

"Why? Because I'm too young? You have no idea how much I would actually understand! You didn't think to take the time and ask. I care about Lindsay, I really do, but the one thing I don't get is why you are acting like this. Figure it out Lindsay. Figure it out before I am gone."


	9. Day Eight

"You know, if you keep calling me up then Lindsay is just going to get more and more pissed with you," Thaddeus said, sitting across the table from the redhead. "Especially if you keep calling me to the diner. Are you trying to get her mad at you?"

"No! It's just, I feel like I need to talk to someone who isn't emotionally invested in the problem."

"Who says I'm not? For all you know, I could be harboring a secret love for you, burning just under the surface," he smiled, leaning back.

"Funny. You're a real laugh riot, you know that?"

"Yesterday, when I said I only accepted your date offer because you're hot and good in bed was a lie. I actually do like you. I like you more than a friend, but I am not going to sit here and try and pursue that because I know for a fact nothing will come out of it. You're little heart is too smitten with Lindsay."

"Is it really that obvious?"

"Every time I see you, you have this look on your face. It's a mixture of hurt and worry. Care to explain it?"

Cindy looked up at the teenager in front of her and realized it was time to tell someone everything on her mind. "She is hiding something, and it's painful for her. It's constantly etched onto her face but she doesn't seem to notice that. All I want to do is find out what is wrong with her and help fix it, if I can."

"You can't fix everything."

"I know that, okay? From everything Jill and Claire have told me about her, she does this. She gets into a mood and she pulls away and there is no way to get her out of it."

"So you are not going to stop until you figure out the loophole to that, right?" He took a drink of his water before continuing. "What if you never figure that out?"

"Then I guess I don't figure it out and I have to deal with not knowing why she has to be so…bitchy."

"Did you ask her?"

"Kind of," she said. "I didn't exactly know the proper way to ask so I tried to ask without actually asking, but even if I did just ask, she wouldn't tell me. If she hasn't told Jill or Claire, then I never will know."

"Jill and Claire as in best friends. Despite the fact she ended what little thing you two had going, you mean more to her than she wants to admit. It's obvious every single time she looks at you. She loves you."

"Then why doesn't she just admit that?!" Cindy looked up as Lindsay, Claire and Jill walked into the diner. Ignoring Thaddeus, she jumped up and grabbed the Inspectors arm, dragging her out of the diner again. She was only going to have the courage to do this once. "Tell me exactly how you feel about me."

"What?"

"You heard me loud and clear."

"Exactly how I feel? Right now I am kind of mad because I really wanted some food and instead you decide to pull me out of their and ignore your little boy toy…"

"That's it! If you don't care, then you don't care. I am NOT dating him, we are here as friends. He is being a great listener since all I do now is bitch about how you don't care. He sits there and he listens to me bitch about how all I want to do is be with you and make you happy, but you seem hell bent on not letting me do that! So what is the deal Lindsay? Every single day am I going to have to say the same thing to you over and over? I don't want it to be like this. I don't want you to push me away, not when I have worked so hard to get close to you."

Lindsay looked at the redhead for a long moment before opening her mouth. "I do care. I really do, and that's why I push you away."

"That makes no sense and you know it."

"One day it will. I promise you it will. But until that day, I have to keep pushing you away. Because I don't want to see you hurt."

"Well," she said, tears in her eyes. "It's a little late for that now, isn't it?"

"Cindy…" Lindsay gently wrapped her arms around the woman, holding her close. She mentally slapped herself as the redhead let her body shake with the sobs. As Lindsay let her cry, her arms still protectively wrapped around the woman, she noticed that Claire, Jill and Thaddeus were now standing outside watching them. She pulled Cindy along to the Jeep and watched her get inside, no questions asked. Ignoring the questioning look Claire sent her; she climbed into the driver's seat and drove off towards her apartment.

"What are we doing here?" Cindy asked, slowly following Lindsay into the building.

"You want to know what's wrong with me, so I am going to show you part of the reason I am how I am," she said, pulling the ladder to the attic down. Before ascending it, she looked at the redhead. "Neither Jill or Claire have seen this. I trust you to not tell them about it, understand?" Cindy nodded. She then followed Lindsay up into the attic and looked around, a dumbfounded look on her face. "This is where I happen to go when I need to think. This is how much this case means to me Cindy."

The woman gently ran her hands over the photos that covered the walls. She thought it was quite funny when she had joked months ago that she had made it into the inner sanctum by meeting the girls in Lindsay's living room, but now she realized this was an inner sanctum. Everything in this room is what kept Lindsay going until she couldn't go anymore. She stood in the middle of the room, her hand intertwined with the taller woman's. "Lindsay," she turned, looking into the brown eyes of the woman she loved. "I know you don't want to hear me say this, but you have to let go. You can't hold onto this forever."

Lindsay pulled Cindy to her, placing a kiss on the top of her head. "If I can't hold onto that forever, then what can I hold on to?"

"Me."


	10. Day Nine

It felt peaceful to wake up next to Lindsay in bed. Skin touching skin, the slow, rhythmic breathing of the older woman as her chest rose and fell in her sleep made a smile spread across Cindy's face. The clock on the nightstand was shining the fact that it was well after noon, and she wondered if Lindsay had somewhere to be. Instead of waking the woman to ask, she settled back down, her head resting on her shoulder, still smiling as she intertwined their hands.

At some point she had drifted off. When she awoke, the clock read three seventeen and the sun was shining brightly through the window. She inhaled and smiled at the smell of fresh coffee. The bed next to her was empty, and she could hear music coming from the kitchen. She grabbed the comforter that had been shoved off the bed at some point and wrapped it around her body, slowly making her way into the kitchen. As she leaned on the doorframe, watching Lindsay move from the stove to the fridge, she remained unseen. It took her a moment to realize that tough Lindsay Boxer was singing along with the radio.

"I never took you for an REO Speedwagon fan, you know? Is there something new in your life that might have inspired your song choice? What was that? Can't Fight This Feeling?" She smiled as Lindsay moved over to her, wrapping her arms around her. Cindy loved seeing the woman in jeans and a blouse, but seeing her standing in a kitchen with her hair pulled back and a snug fitting shirt with loose sweatpants just made the woman so much more beautiful to her.

"I didn't know you were awake," she whispered, rocking back and forth slightly, kissing Cindy's forehead and playfully trying to peek under the comforter.

"I see you are in a much better mood now."

"It's amazing what falling in love with someone does for you." She placed a gentle kiss on Cindy's lips before reaching back to turn off the stove. "I made you food, but, well, you aren't really wearing proper attire to sit at a table and eat," she said, smiling. Her arms wrapped tightly around the redhead's waist again as she moved them towards the couch.

"Hey, what about the food?" She leaned her head back as Lindsay placed a trail of kisses from her ear to her collarbone.

"Needs to simmer for fifteen minutes. What can we do with those fifteen minutes?" She bit down on Cindy's pulse point, eliciting a moan from the woman. Before things could escalate further, there was a sharp knock on the door.

"No," Cindy whispered, holding firmly to Lindsay's arm, which had begun to snake it's way to her waist. "Ignore it."

After a few moments of silence, and no other knocks, Lindsay turned her attention back to Cindy, who was now squirming underneath her. "Cindy…I…I need to tell you something. Something really important," she whispered, watching the redhead carefully. When she was sure she had her full attention, all courage seemed to leave her body.

"What?"

"I…There was…" As hard as she tried, she couldn't the words to leave her throat. "You know what? I don't think it's that important after all," she smiled, moving the comforter so she was wrapped up in it with the woman.

"I think it might be important, and that's why you won't tell me."

"Are we seriously the type sit on the couch discussing the real world? I mean, I don't think I could take you too seriously right now, you being naked and all," she said, a smirk on her face as her hand still rested lightly on Cindy's waist.

Cindy stood up, pulling the blanket with her as she disappeared into the bedroom, reemerging moments later fully dressed, a serious look on her face. "There. No distractions. Why won't you tell me?"

"Do we have to get into this again? All that will come of it is me being stubborn and you getting pissed and then we will fight. I don't want to fight."

"So tell me. Don't be stubborn, just let it out. Please?"

Lindsay stood up and moved into the kitchen, checking the pan on the stove. "Food's done."

"Just because I am hungry and would rather eat then talk right now doesn't mean I am letting you off the hook," she said, wrapping her arms around Lindsay's waist. As they ate the food in silence, Lindsay couldn't help but feel nervous as she felt the redhead's eyes on her. When the dishes were in the sink, Lindsay finally looked at Cindy again. "If you won't come out and tell me what is wrong, will you at least give me a clue to see if I can manage to figure it out for myself?"

"Can you just drop it? Please? If I have to get on my knees and beg you to forget about it, I will. It's is my problem, not yours. I don't have to share it with everyone because no one needs to know," she said, leaning against the counter, letting Cindy rest against her. "I can already hear your response to that. You care about me, so you should have a right to know. This is something I am not sure I want anyone to know about, ever. Not unless I think I can figure it out on my own."

"And you can't figure it out on your own, can you?" She set her chin on Lindsay's shoulder, closing her eyes to stop the unwanted tears in them. She pulled back and kissed the woman gently before backing up into the living room and gathering her bag, making sure everything was in it. "Let me know when you can figure it out and you feel like telling me about it, okay? Because, I really do want to help. I just need you to let me help. So, I have to go now, but call me. Let me know, okay? I love you Lindsay. And I don't want to see anything bad happen to you. That might kill me." She left the apartment, leaving Lindsay standing in the kitchen, watching the floor.


End file.
